So, in the end, I think it turned into something good and while I have trouble finding hope because this has been such a long battle/ journey, I am praying.
Monday, Barbara got sloshed and started being really nasty to Pop amongst other things. Pop's nurse, Lois said that Tuesday would be her last day working as long as Barbara was there. My dad told us he was going to check her in to the hospital on Tuesday. He means well but often doesn't have the motivation to do the research or see it through. Barbara was bent on getting Pop out of the house yesterday and ended up driving by my house. She wanted to come in and "talk" about it but I wouldn't let her because Lucy was here and I didn't want her in the middle of a grown up conversation once again. Danny and I told her that the problem wasn't Pop and that it was her and that was the reason Lois wasn't coming back. We told her she needed to go to rehab. My dad was there, he'd come over earlier and a few moments later, they both left for home.
Upon reaching the house, Barbara apprehended my dad and they went to lunch. Then, Barbara flipped out and somehow they ended up at the airport where she claimed she was leaving. We knew she wasn't. In the meantime, Danny and I were making a million calls, trying to find out
how to have her forcefully commited without the 10 day wait it would take if we went down the Civil Commitment route. Finally, we told Barbara that she had two choices, she could check into the hospital or we would have Kat press charges against her for the hammer/ scissor incident and she would be arrested and then forced into rehab or back into the psch ward that she'd been in last summer. She panicked and she and my dad didn't come home last night. They stayed in a hotel.
I guess in the long run it worked though, because she's being checked into a rehab facility in Poway tomorrow morning. It's all set up. She goes in to detox for a week and then has an eight week outpatient treatment program with breathalizers and all. I also told her I wanted her to seek treatment for the bipolar.
I had a good conversation with my dad this morning as well. I told him I needed him to be the dad and to protect us kids instead of taking her side. I said that while I am good at being there for others, I need him to remember that I have my own demons that I have to fight and that I need him to do for me sometimes. There was a lot of other stuff but I really and truly pray that this family can mend. And while emotionally I feel like a semi has rolled over me, I also feel a bit more settled today.
On another note, we are in the midst of cleaning the room for Pop. He'll be here tomorrow, on his birthday. Yesterday he said to Lois, "everyone is fighting and I'm worried about Danny and Jess. I don't want to live here anymore. What does there house look like, so I know when I go to live there?" How can I not love that man?
2 comments:
I'm glad to read that your mom will try to get help. I'll pray that she gets all she needs and complies with what the doctors say. {{{{HUGS}}}}
Good job taking a stand, it's got to be hard to do that with family, but you needed to do it. We'll be praying for her to be open to recovery and healing.
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